In a relationship that’s turned rocky, when you ask a question that includes the words “when to end it” it’s crucial that you make the right decision. As an emotional freedom techniques (EFT) coach, I recommend EFT tapping to help people free themselves of emotional burdens and make the right choice. Effective as it is, it’s not a magic pill. It’s a process that has to be done right.
These days, everyone seems to be in a hurry. We’re so used to rushing to get things done that we no longer know how to let go and simply allow things to happen. Remember the saying, “A watched pot never boils”? EFT is like that. There are 5 specific reasons as to why someone may feel there’s no progress after doing EFT for some time.
1. The biggest mistake is thinking of EFT as an all-around solution. It’s not. EFT done the right way is always specific to a problem. In the case of a troubled relationship, you just don’t do tapping statements like, “I am terribly hurt because he’s having an affair.” That is too broad. You should be more specific about the event. Like tapping on that you found your husband in bed with another woman at 10 in the evening on February 12 at the Hotel Ritz. Tap to this specific incident to resolve it first, then move on to the next one.
2. The second biggest mistake is getting too positive too soon, which is a kind of forced state of being. You can never force yourself to heal. It has to happen naturally in its own time. You will need to work yourself out of the gunk first. It’s not going to be a walk in the park. But with guidance and maybe even a helping hand, you’ll get where you want yourself to be through EFT. Do you think you can force a smile in front of a partner that’s hurting you when you still feel the pain inside? I think not.
3. The third aspect which may keep someone from progressing is the failure to identify a shift in emotion after tapping. If you have a specific statement in mind about a particular aspect of your relationship that you feel strongly about, tapping on that can reveal hidden emotions that need to be addressed first before taking the next step. So if you begin tapping on your sadness and that reduces, but underneath it is anger, you will need to tap on the anger as well and see where that leads you.
4. Have you ever bought something from a hardware store without testing it first? We all know that we may end up taking the item back because of unknown defects that show up when we finally try it out at home. In EFT, testing is just as important to achieve success. If you don’t test for effectiveness, you may end up going back to square one, and that’s not progress. In relationship issues, you will know if tapping worked or not if there are positive changes to how you relate with your partner, regarding the issues you worked on in the context of the tapping.
5. Lastly, there may be unconscious hindrances to progress. In sessions dealing with relationships, a client may tell stories and reveal things about the past and how he or she reacts to the memory of it in a negative way. These can get in the way of progress. So if there’s something else that’s bothering you in a relationship, you won’t get very far.
Now that you have an idea of what it takes to get EFT techniques to work for you, you’ll be in a better position to choose your course of action in a bad relationship in case you’re wondering “when to end it for good.”