In The Materialists, writer-director Celine Song invites us into the glossy, seductive world of Manhattan matchmaking and the eternal romantic tug-of-war: wealth versus authenticity, sparkle versus substance, fantasy versus fulfillment. And audiences are resonating. Why? Because the movie is both a love story and a deep dive into the emotional calculus of how we choose love in a modern world obsessed with status, appearance, and superficial compatibility.
But there’s one thing this film—beautifully acted and philosophically engaging as it is—misses entirely: how we’ve been taught to begin the search for love in all the wrong places.
At Learning to Find Love (L2FL), we help singles rethink everything they’ve learned about attraction, relationships, and compatibility. While The Materialists presents a thoughtful portrayal of the confusion many daters feel today, it still orbits the same tired axis: attraction first, assessment second—if ever.
And that’s where real-world heartbreak begins.
The Problem with Attraction-First Dating
Lucy, the protagonist in The Materialists, works as a high-end matchmaker, where potential partners are sorted and selected like luxury goods—filtered by height, income, alma mater, and skin tone. When she finds herself caught between Harry (a rich, dashing financier) and John (an ex with emotional depth but limited prospects), her dilemma mirrors what so many of our students experience:
“Do I go with the one who looks good on paper… or the one who makes me feel seen?”
It’s a valid question—but it’s one that wouldn’t be nearly as painful if Lucy had paused to ask the right questions in the right order.
The L2FL Approach: Flip the Script on Romance
In our program, we don’t begin with physical chemistry or “vibes.” We don’t swipe, scan, or rank based on résumé. We begin where long-term love actually thrives: behavioral assessment.
Our proven method teaches students to first identify and prioritize the values, talents, and behaviors they most respect in another human being. This means asking:
- Does this person keep their word?
- Do they treat others (including strangers) with compassion?
- Are they emotionally available and self-aware?
Only after someone meets your behavioral criteria do we guide you to observe how they treat you. And only after that do we suggest checking for physical chemistry.
Sound backward?
It’s actually what successful long-term couples have been doing—intuitively or accidentally—for centuries. We’ve just systematized it.
What The Materialists Validates About Our Work
The film is, in many ways, a mirror for how the modern dating world gets it wrong. It exposes the fatigue, confusion, and commodification many people feel when they enter the dating marketplace. It asks real questions:
- Can love coexist with ambition?
- Is romance real if it’s wrapped in wealth?
- What part of us chooses who we fall for?
But The Materialists, for all its charm and insight, still offers no real map for how to navigate these questions differently.
That’s where L2FL comes in.
You Don’t Need to Be Torn Between Two People
You don’t need to get swept away by someone’s charisma or wallet before you know their character. You don’t need to rely on chemistry to lead you—especially when it often leads you in circles.
You can learn to date with clarity, peace, and purpose.
You can lead with your own happiness instead of chasing it through someone else.
You can build relationships based on respect first, not attraction.
If The Materialists Left You Wondering…
“Why is dating still so confusing?”
“Why do I keep falling for the wrong people?”
“Why can’t I trust myself when it comes to love?”
Then it might be time to learn a better way.
Join us at Learning to Find Love (L2FL)—where attraction isn’t the starting point, it’s the final confirmation. And where dating becomes less about finding the right person… and more about becoming someone who knows how to choose love wisely.
Let the movies give you the drama.
Let us give you the tools.
Learn more about the L2FL program here. https://www.learningtofindlove.com/