He said, she said, he did, she did, are phrases that we hear constantly in our office. Layers and layers of disappointments, unrealized expectations and constant attacks, make up the bulk of most of the complaints that have people ask the question, when to end it when to stay. These perceived character flaws and transgressions can easily begin to decay the vision one has of an intimate relationship.
Whenever we work with our clients on “their lovers’ issues” our goal is always to remove the barriers and grievances that are so emotionally charged first. If at the end of that period of discharge our clients still find that the relationship doesn’t work, then they can move towards a better future, perhaps alone. This then, will not be about running away from a negative situation that will most likely haunt them with the next partner.
Begin the process for yourself by listing all the faults you see in your mate and systematically tap on them until they are a true zero in a zero to ten intensity scale. (EFT tapping is explained in the when to end it course). Many people can remember an event or situation that began the relationship decline, and this is where we’d have you tap next. Another enlightening exercise is to list all the aspects of the other person that remind you of one of your parents and then begin to heal all the baggage from those childhood/parental relationships.
Finally, use this time to observe how your spouse is really a perfect mirror in which you can see all the projections of self-loathing that you may still need to work on. Remember what the Oracle at Delphi said, “Know thyself and you will know the secrets of the Gods” Your relationship to yourself must be the best it can be or it will continue to attract incompleteness in your relationships.
